A month had passed since their wedding. After that night, Raza went to meet her for another five days before he had to leave for Delhi to attend his father's friend's son Ragav's wedding, for three weeks.
Before leaving, Raza arranged for Tariq Sir to visit her home to teach her. She was genuinely happy with his lessons, finding Sir Tariq's way of explaining things very helpful.
She never spoke about Raza to anyone. She ate in silence, buried herself in her books, and occasionally visited Daddu. Her parents would sometimes taunt her, but she remembered Raza's words and kept her silence.
FLASHBACK
It was early morning, and Raza was planning to leave. They were both at the "Dera," a place where the Chaudharys gathered and rested, a secluded spot used primarily by men.
Normally, someone stayed at the Dera to look after the fields, but due to a storm warning the previous night, they had called the caretaker back to the Haveli for his safety. Raza wanted to visit the last field, where they had sown mustard seeds just a week earlier. After checking on it, they walked together as he led her to the Dera.
He opened the door and brought out a cot, setting it up outside. Halima looked around, taking in the peaceful surroundings. The Dera was in the middle of vast fields, far from any houses, with a single thatched-roof room and a large open area in front.
Feeling the cold November breeze, she rubbed her shoulders. As she looked back, Raza smiled at her from where he sat on the cot. She walked over and settled beside him.
"Bohut accha lag raha hai yaha...",she said softly, her gaze drifting over the mist-laden fields.
(It feels so nice here...)
"Hai toh khubsurat,"he replied, his eyes lingering on her. He knew he had to tell her that he was leaving, but she still didn't knew it yet.
(Yes, it is beautiful)
"Ab jab aap tractor se khet jotenge, toh mujhe bhi laaiyega yaha, ya phir bula lijiye ga mai aapko khaana dene ke bahane se aaungi",she said, her voice full of excitement. His heart twisted painfully at her words, knowing he wouldn't hear her laughter or see her smiles for three long weeks. He wondered how he would manage without her, how he would sleep without her presence nearby.
(Next time you come to plow the fields with the tractor, bring me here too, or call me. I'll come under the excuse of bringing you food)
His eyes fell on her fading henna, and he smiled, recalling how joyfully she had shown it to him when it was fresh.
"Thandi lag rahi hai?",he asked, noticing her shiver.
(Are you feeling cold?)
She nodded, and he gestured for her to come closer. She scooted nearer, and he wrapped his shawl around both of them, cocooning her in its warmth. She placed her hand in his and rested her head on his shoulder. She had grown comfortable with his touch, especially now that they had begun holding each other close even while sleeping.
"Halima..." he called her name softly as she looked out at the greenery before them.
"Jii...",she replied, glancing up at him.
(Yes...)
"Mujhe Dilli jana hai aaj, teen hafte baad aaunga",he told her. Her smile faltered slightly, and her heart skipped a beat.
"Aaj?", she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper, and he nodded.
(Today?)
"Daddu ka khayal rakhna. Jab tak mai na aaun, kahi ghoomne akele nahi jaana hai. Subah subah uthna hai aur padhai par dhyaan dena ache se. Mai shayad tumhare imtehaan se 3 ya 4 din pehle yaha aaun. Aur haan, apne amma-abba se zubaan na ladana. Daddu bata rahe the tum chachi ka palat kar jawab deti ho. Acchi bachiyan aisa nahi karti hain. Tum toh meri acchi biwi ho na?", he reminded her, his voice tinged with sadness.
(Take care of Daddu. Until I return, don't go anywhere alone. Wake up early and focus on your studies. I'll probably return three or four days before your exams. And yes, don't talk back to your parents. Daddu told me you sometimes answer back to Chachi. Good girls don't do that. You're my good wife, aren't you?)
"J-Jaana zaroori hai?",she asked, swallowing to ease the ache in her throat. She kept her gaze averted, fearing he would see her tears.
(Is it really necessary to go?)
"Rajputon ki rishtedari mein hai, zaroori toh hai," he replied, gently rubbing her shoulder beneath the shawl.
(It's a family bond among Rajputs; it is necessary)
She finally looked up at him, her tear-filled eyes meeting his. He gulped, feeling the weight of her sadness on his heart.
"Ahmed bhai ko bhej de...", she began, but her voice broke, and a tear slipped down her cheek. She tried to hold back, but the pain in her throat was too deep.
(Tell Ahmed Bhai to go...)
As her voice cracked, he instinctively pulled her into a tight embrace. She rose slightly, then settled onto his lap as he gently guided her, her legs draping over his torso.
She clung to him, her silent sobs shaking her small frame, and his arms encircled her firmly, as though he could somehow meld them together and make this separation vanish forever.
His heart raced in his chest as he felt her petite frame cling to him. He yearned to escape to a place where it was just the two of them, free from the world's judgment. He had asked his father to bring Halima with him, but their pride overshadowed his happiness. They remained oblivious to the nights he spent in her room, and he had no intention of revealing the truth. His parents demanded he bring her back, but he firmly refused.
Now, he felt powerless. He wanted Halima more than anyone else in his house,in his Room, yet he restrained himself, knowing how naive she was and how ruthless his parents could be. He gently caressed her back as she sat there like a child, wanting to cry just as she was, but the teachings of masculinity held him back-his parents had taught him that men do not shed tears.
After nearly fifteen or twenty minutes, she pulled away and placed her hand on his bearded cheek. "Naa jaayein na please, mai Rafi ko bula lun, amma abba bohot pareshan karenge mujhe." She spoke, feeling that without his reassurance, she would lose her mind.
(Please don't go. I'll call Rafi; my parents will trouble me a lot.)
He took her hands in his, rubbing his thumb over her fingers. "Iss baar jaane do, agli baar tumhe saath lekar jaaunga. Abhi tumhare imtehaan hain, haina? Aur Rafia ko pareshan mat karna, nahi toh mai Ahmed se bacha nahi paunga tumhe... Rahi baat chacha chachi ki, wo jo bhi bole jawaab mat dena aur kamre mein rehna."
(Let me go this time; I'll take you with me next time. You have your exams, right? And don't trouble Rafia; otherwise, I won't be able to save you from Ahmed... And as for your uncle and aunt, just don't respond to whatever they say and stay in your room.)
She looked at him with a hurt expression, then hugged him tightly, burying her face in his neck as she nodded, trying to reassure him.
The cold wind brushed against their faces, and playful strands of her hair danced over his face. "Mai jab aaun toh phirse mehndi lagwa lena, mujhe ab tumhare haath sune acche nahi lagte," he said, attempting to shift her focus from the previous topic.
(When I return, you must get henna done again; your bare hands don't look good anymore.)
"Mai nahi lagaungi..." she replied, nuzzling her face into him, her warm breath tickling his neck.
He closed his eyes, tightening his grip around her waist. "Mai kuch maangun, abhi toh dogi?" he asked, opening his eyes to catch her gaze.
(If I ask for something, will you give it to me?)
Her face was just inches from his. She looked deep into his eyes and shook her head,glaring at him, saying, "Bilkul bhi nahi."
(Absolutely not.)
He chuckled at her defiance, teasingly replying, "Tho mai zabardasti le lunga ab. Mujhse nahi raha jaa raha hai aur teen hafte guzarne ke liye oxygen Halima ki bohot zarurat hai, mujhe nahi toh kahi mar-"
(Then I'll just take it by force. I can't stand this, and I need a lot of oxygen-Halima to survive three weeks without you, or else I might die-)
Her eyes filled with tears at his words, and she pressed her palm against his lips, hiccuping as she nestled her head against his chest, hiding her face.
He tried to lift her chin to meet his gaze, but she shook her head. He fell silent and kissed her palm, prompting her to remove her hand from his lips. "Jaane-e-Raza, mujhe dekho," he called softly, feeling an ache in his heart.
(Beloved Raza, look at me.)
She looked up, her eyes glistening with tears as she hit his chest, hiccuping, "Wadaa karien kabhi marne ki baat nahi karenge. Mai aapke bina ek din nahi guzaar sakti aur aap aisa kar rahe hai mere saath?"
(Promise me you won't talk about dying. I can't survive a single day without you, and you're saying this to me?)
"Wadaa meri jaan... Ab mai nahi karunga aisi baat. Please yaar, rona band karo Halima, mujhe takleef ho rahi hai tumhe aise dekh kar," he reassured her holding her hand, wiping her tears away with his rough palms.
(I promise, my love... I won't say such things again. Please stop crying, Halima; it pains me to see you like this.)
"Aapko kya chahiye? Aap jo bhi maange mai de dungi, aapse zyada koi keemti cheez nahi hai mere paas."
(What do you want? I will give you anything you ask; I have nothing more precious than you.)
"Accha toh mai koi cheez hun?" he asked glaring at her with mischief, amusement lighting his face as he relished her sincerity.
(So I'm just some object to you?)
"Nahi... Aap koi cheez nahi hai, aap kuch nahi... Sab kuch hai," she stammered, her confusion evident.
(No... You're not an object,you are nothing... You are everything.)
He laughed at her flustered response, leaning closer to her, making her eyes widen at their proximity.
"Tumhare haathon ka lams chahata hun, kya tum mujhe iss kabil samajhti ho, Halima?" he asked, his gaze piercing into her eyes.Her breath caught as she felt her heart pause for a second, lost in his intense stare.
(I want the touch of your hands. Do you think I'm worthy of it, Halima?)
She couldn't move or even muster a response; her world seemed to come to a standstill. She simply blinked, uncertain of what to do or say.
After a moment, he averted his eyes, misinterpreting her silence as discomfort. With a soft sigh, he leaned back, looking toward the path ahead, but she tugged at the front of his kurta, stopping him.
He gazed into her eyes, searching for something-and in that moment, he found it. His eyes flickered down to where her hand rested against his chest as the shawl slipped from their shoulders. Then, he looked back at her,feeling her intention, and a spark ignited within him.
Without another word, he tightened his hold around her waist, standing up with her in his arms. His shawl slipped on the cot,and hers still draped around her waist because of his hold on her waist, while part of it trailed down to the ground.
The intimacy of the moment held them in place, their breaths mingling in the cold air, as if the world had faded around them.
Her eyes squeezed shut, still unable to speak, her hand instinctively reaching his shoulder and gripping it tightly.
The chill in the air was sharp, but he felt nothing but warmth surging through his body as he carried her toward the room, his heart hammering in his chest. As he closed the door behind them, she was still wrapped securely in his arms, no space left between them. Her legs were entwined around his torso, and her hands were clasped around his neck.
She kept her eyes shut until her back met the cool wall, and she felt the warmth of his breath against her neck.
And then, he kissed her there...
Heat radiated between them as she rested her head against the wall, feeling his weight press her firmly into it. Her grip on his shoulder tightened, and her fingers instinctively traced up to his neck as he placed another gentle kiss on her neck and shoulder.
She gasped softly as his hand slid beneath her kameez, his fingers tracing up her back, skimming across her skin until they reached the edge of her bra.
At her soft moan, he looked up, watching her flushed face and closed eyes. Her reaction sent a shiver through his own body, mirroring hers.
"Halima... mujhe dekho",he whispered gently. She opened her eyes, teeth pressed together, and met his intense gaze.
(Halima... look at me.)
As their eyes met, her pulse quickened; she was now aware of his hand against her bra, her body trapped between him and the wall.
As she looked into depth of his eyes, she swallowed hard, a mix of emotions swirling within her. The final spark was the feel of his hand on her bra, and the way he had her pinned gently but firmly against the wall.
The room was dim, its door and window shut, with only the soft glow of a lantern hanging on the wall beside them. The warm, orange light painted their faces, casting flickering shadows that allowed them to see each other clearly despite the darkness.
When he kept looking into her eyes, he noticed the striking contrast in her Ocean blue eyes-one gray, the other brown. Mismatched, just like they were, but beautiful in the way it reflected their unique bond.
His chest rose and fell as he got lost in her gaze, the sensual tension between them thick and undenable. He leaned in, their eyes locked, breaths mingling as he softly asked, "May I?"
Her lips parted at the sound of his low, husky voice, and she blinked repeatedly, feeling her heart race like never before.
Then, his lips found hers, sending a shudder through her as she trembled under his touch. Their eyes closed, every distance between them vanished, leaving no space for even a whisper of air to come between them.
His hand slipped to the back of her head while the other gripped the band of her bra, holding it tightly. Unintentionally and unknowingly to him, his nails scratching her soft skin on her back, sending painful shivers down her spine.
She deepened the kiss, a soft moan escaping her lips as she flinched from the heat of his touch,felt burning sensation on her scratched skin. Her fingers tangled in his hair, gripping it tightly, leaving no chance for her own blood to circulate in her fingers.
Feeling her fingers entwined with his hair, he began to move his lips against hers, their noses brushing against each other, barely allowing space to breathe.
Gripping her braided hair, he pulled her impossibly close to the wall as he pulled away briefly to catch his breath. Both of them inhaled deeply, savoring the moment.
She opened her eyes to find his lips slightly glistening, and within seconds, his lips crashed against hers once more, prompting her to tug on his hair as he intensified the kiss.
Kissing and nibbling at her lips, he savored her like she was his very lifeline.Softenss of her lips making him insane,he longed to kiss her forever, convinced that the moment he pulled away, a part of him would wither and die.
He chuckled to himself, recalling how she had cried when he jokingly said that,he would die.
But now somehow,he felt his words turning into reality.
Slowly, she tried to process what she was supposed to do, and began moving her lips against his, stoking the flames of their growing desire.
He bit her lower lip, humming softly, and she moaned, instinctively opening her mouth to grant him access.
As he thrust his tongue inside, fear washed over her-unsure of what to do, she twisted her tongue back, tasting his saliva in her mouth.
Breath became a struggle, her body draining of energy until she felt a pleasant numbness settling in.
Sensing her grip loosening, he took one last, deep suck of her lip, then leaned back, catching his breath.
Releasing his hold on her bra, he began to caress her back, easing her into a rhythm that allowed her to breathe again.
She took deep breaths, striving to regain her focus, but her mind was clouded, lost in the haze of their heated moment.
Her mind raced with chaotic thoughts: "How will she face him now? What will he think of her? She kissed back-how shameless! How could she do that? This is so embarrassing!"
Panicking, she opened her eyes, bracing for disgust in his gaze. But her heart stopped as she found only adoration and love reflected in his eyes.
As their gazes locked, he mumbled huskily, "Shukriya..."
(Thank You)
Her eyes dropped, blinking rapidly to hold back tears. He didn't regard her as she had feared; he thanked her.
"D-Derr ho gayi hai bohut..." she stammered, and he withdrew his hand from her back and her body tightened at the sensation of his fingers against her skin.
(It's very late...)
He noticed her reaction and smiled, kissing her forehead. "Mujhe mann kar raha hai ki poora haq de dun tumhe, phir jaaun...par tum itne me hi dheeli pad gayi. Mai khoob saare fal bhijwata hun ghar, khaao aur meri shiddat sehne ke liye tayyar raho. Bass janam din tak hi sabar kar paaunga, ab nahi reh paaunga."
(I feel like giving you all my rights and then leaving... but you've become so weak with just this. I'll send a lot of fruits home; eat them and get ready to endure my passions. I can only hold out until your birthday-I can't stay away any longer.)
He caressed her lips, craving her taste once more, but gently helped her to her feet. She immediately clung to his arms, feeling her knees grow weak beneath her.
He laughed softly, bending to kiss her cheek, causing her grip to tighten again.
"Mujhe ghar jaana hai..." she whispered, unable to meet his eyes. He felt as if he had heard those exact words before.
(I want to go Home.)
Stepping back, she reached for her half-fallen shawl, the corner dust-covered.
He extended his hand, silently asking her to give him the shawl.
Looking at him for the first time since their heated moment, she removed her shawl and handed it to him like a robot, without a second thought.
He felt a swell of pride knowing that his wife had shed her shawl without hesitation in front of him. He recalled the days before their marriage when her shawl had enveloped her body so completely that not a single inch was visible to anyone else's gaze. Now, she stood before him, few minutes ago her body was pressed against his, her lingering touch still igniting his skin.
Never in his wildest dreams he imagined such moment could exist between them,but it was real-she was his forever.
Today, he felt lucky because of her and foolish for pursuing a girl who was never meant for him. He had wasted years longing for someone else when she had always been right in front of him, destined to complete him and bring him happiness from the moment she was born.
After placing her shawl in the wooden cupboard in the corner of the room, he gathered his shawls from the cot and walked back inside, only to find her still standing in the same spot.
He wrapped his shawl around her after gently wiping her face with it.
Taking her hand, he led her outside, where he found his man sitting on the cot.
"Kamre me tumhare alawa koi jaane na paaye, hadd me rehna jab tak mai nahi hun yaha," Raza commanded, his gaze firm as he addressed the man. The man didn't dare to look at him, his eyes cast downward in submission.
(Let no one enter the room except you. Stay within limits until I am here.)
"Salam Chaudhrain, Jii Sahab, samajh gaya," he replied, understanding the unspoken warning in Raza's words. Raza had caught him in compromising situations before-once in a room with a woman and another time playing cards with men.
(Greetings Mrs.Chaudhary,Okay sir,I Understand.)
Halima kept her gaze lowered, adjusting her shawl over her head as she nodded and whispered, "Walekum Assalam."
With a protective hand resting on her back, Raza guided her toward her home, their steps in unison.
FLASHBACK ENDS
Halima brushed her fingers over her lips, recalling that unforgettable day. She glanced at the calendar; it was the Third week, and he hadn't come back. No letters had arrived, either.
She shut her eyes, remembering his promise to return before her exams. As the sun dipped below the horizon, she felt a sense of loss wash over her, as if her heart were slipping away.
From Next week, her exams would begin.
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