It was December. For the past few weeks, he had tried to talk to her like before, but she was no longer the same. She had wrapped herself in a blanket of loneliness, creating a distance he couldn’t cross. They still prayed together and slept beside each other, but every time he tried to reach her, she’d tell him she was too sleepy. Some nights, she even pretended to be asleep before he entered the room. Yet, he didn’t stop coming to her—just this once, he wanted to be selfish. He craved peace, and she was the only peace he knew.
He knew she couldn’t sleep alone, not now—not while she was haunted by nightmares, still shaken and fragile.
Tonight, she sat on the bed, her gaze fixed on the door, waiting for him. She wanted to tell him she could manage on her own now, that he didn’t need to keep coming just for her sake.
A hollow hopelessness clung to her thoughts. Her exam results were about to be released, adding to her unease. She missed Lajjo deeply; her mother had taken her away the day after Bakhtiyar’s death.
She waited, lost in her thoughts, suddenly, she saw him step into the room,his eyes narrowed with a simmering anger that sent a chill through her.
She rose from the bed and walked backward, her heart pounding as fear took root. The intensity in his gaze made her feel as though she were seeing a stranger—the same Raza who had returned to her after five long weeks, but tonight, there was something dark and dangerous in his eyes.
“Come here,” he commanded, his voice low but unyielding, his eyes burning with emotions she had never seen in him before.
Her voice caught in her throat, and her legs felt like they’d turned to stone, unwilling to take even a single step forward.
A shiver ran through her entire body. She was seeing him like this after so long, she didn't expected this. But tonight, everything about him seemed darker, harsher—he was no longer the man she had once known.
“Yaha aao, Halima.”, His tone was stern, laced with barely restrained anger. She clutched the side of her shalwar tightly, her fingers trembling as she forced herself to step toward him, tears brimming in her eyes.
(Come here, Halima.)
A quiet, fearful whimper escaped her, but he only clenched his jaw, unmoved. Within seconds, he was standing in front of her, his intense gaze piercing into hers. He reached out, his hand gripping her jaw firmly, tilting her face to meet his.
“Tumhe pata hai mai kaun hoon? Mard hoon mai, meri zaruratein hain aur unko pura karna tumhari zimmedari hai”,he said, his voice low and demanding, as his other hand moved to her hip, his touch both possessive and unrelenting.
(Do you know who I am? I am a man; I have needs, and it’s your duty to fulfill them)
In one swift motion, he pushed her onto the bed, his weight hovering over her as he looked into her wide, startled eyes.
“Mera haq do mujhe”,he demanded, his voice barely more than a growl. She gasped, instinctively pushing him back, but he caught her wrists effortlessly, pinning them above her head. Leaning in, his breath brushed against her lips, his gaze intense and unyielding, claiming every inch of her resolve.
(Give me my right)
As his lips claimed hers, he bit down, his kiss growing fiercer, while his hands roamed possessively over her stomach, finally moving up to seize her breasts, gripping them with an intensity that made her gasp.
“Bohut ho gaya ab, bohut intezaar kar liya. Ab nahi", he muttered, his voice thick with urgency as he pushed her kameez up, his eyes fixed on her bare skin.
(Enough now, I’ve waited long enough. Not anymore)
Lowering his mouth, he pressed rough kisses on her breasts, his lips biting and sucking as he claimed her. She flinched under his touch, a frightened cry escaping her lips as she whispered, pleading with him to stop.
But he wasn’t listening to her, as though he were someone else entirely—not the Raza she knew. His lips pressed urgently against her neck, hands tracing over her skin, kissing and nipping along her shoulders and throat.
His fingers moved down to her shalwar, and in a heartbeat, he loosened its string. His hand slipped into her underwear, cupping her warmth.
She jolted at the feel of his fingers along her most sensitive place, the touch raw and urgent. This wasn’t the gentle Raza she remembered from the Dera. His touch now was filled with need, carrying a sense of urgency rather than romantic.
“Nahii… Nahiii… Please aisa na karien…”
(No… No… Please, don’t do this…)
“Halima… Halima… meri jaan… Halima…”, she heard his voice calling her, though her eyes were tightly shut, and she cried out louder, pushing him away as he gently patted her cheeks.
(Halima… Halima… my love… Halima…)
Her eyes opened slowly, and there he was, standing in front of her with a shocked expression, his wide eyes filled with concern. He sat on the edge of the bed and reached for her hand, but she immediately pulled away, sobbing, “Mujhe haath mat lagaiye… jaaiye yaha se.”
(Don’t touch me… go away from here.)
He looked at her, confused. “Par maine kiya kya hai?”
(But what have I done?)
She looked at him in disbelief, then down at herself. She was fully clothed,her hands touching her clothes and he wasn’t wearing the same clothes she had seen him in moments ago.
“Aap…”,she tried to speak, instinctively shielding herself as she looked at him.
(You…)
Understanding dawned on his face. He knew she had just woken from a nightmare, but seeing her fear-stricken expression, he asked with a tense voice, “Halima, kya dekha hai khwaab me? Kyun itna dari thi?”
(Halima, what did you see in the dream? Why were you so scared?)
She shook her head, her face still a mask of terror. “Woh aap… aap mere saath…”,she stammered, struggling to speak.
(You… you were with me…)
He clenched his jaw, frustration flashing in his eyes as he looked away. He swallowed hard before asking, “Zabardasti?”
(Forced you?)
She nodded, tears streaming down her face, and he immediately pulled back, feeling a wave of disgust with himself.
Anger surged through him, and he kicked the side table, leading the Jug to fall on the floor before sitting on the bed with his back to her, his head hung low, gripping his hair tightly.
He wanted to hug her and touch her but remembering how she pushed him away,he stayed still.
“Kaash mai gaav ke dusre mardon ke jaise bann pata, aur khudki hi biwi ki izzat ko raund deta. Roz tumhare saath letne ke baad apne aap ko control nahi karta, toh aaj ye din na dekhna padta, ye takleef na hoti.”,He muttered to himself, but she heard him, and his words left her stunned.
(If only I could be like the other men in the village, and trample over my own wife’s dignity. If I didn’t restrain myself every night lying beside you, then maybe I wouldn’t be facing this day, or feeling this pain now.)
“Ab tumse mere kamre me hi baat hogi.”,He said, standing up with a hardened expression, and walked toward the door in anger.
(Now I’ll only talk to you in my room.)
She sat there silently, unable to respond. She felt that she deserved this—that she had no right to even dream what she had. Her husband was honorable, a gentleman, and yet once again, she had managed to disappoint him.
In a surge of anger,he stormed toward Bakhtiyar's room, but his steps faltered. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, swallowing hard before turning and walking out of the house.
Today, everything felt like it was crumbling. Nothing would be the same again. As he walked toward his own house, he stopped, momentarily reminded of the promise he’d made to her—that he’d never leave her. Yet here he was, standing in the middle of the road, torn between ego and affection,his thoughts consumed by her. Pushing aside his affection, he turned back toward the Haveli.
Inside, his gaze fell on his mother as she moved toward the kitchen. She looked up, her expression hardening, and without a word, turned away and walked into her room.
Entering his own room in frustration, he kicked the door shut and collapsed onto the bed. A few minutes later, there was a knock. Though he didn’t want to, he dragged himself to the door and opened it, glaring at the woman he had brought with him from Delhi.
“Aapko Aapke Abba aur Amma kamre mein bula rahe hain,” she informed him, lowering her gaze and stepping back after he motioned dismissively with his hand.
(You Parents are calling you in their Room.)
Exhaling, he straightened his hair and went to his parents’ room. As he entered, he looked at his father, seated on the bed. “Aapne yaad kiya mujhe?” he asked.
(You called me?)
“Haan, aao, baitho,” his father replied, and Raza walked over.
(Yes,Come Sit.)
His father fixed him with a stern look, and his mother sat beside him.
"Tumhe apni nahi toh meri izzat ka toh khayal karna chahiye." his father began. Raza felt the weight of the words, though they only deepened his confusion. His eyes were still red with residual anger.
(If not for your own, you should at least think of my honor.)
“Kya hua, Abba?” he asked, his gaze narrowing.
(What happened,Dad?)
“Agar tu mard hai toh teri biwi ko yahan la, aur auraton ke jaise apne sasural jaakar na baitha kar,” his father continued, his voice rising with each word. "Chacha ke inteqal ke baad se hi main dekh raha hoon tujhe. Tu raat bhar gayab rehta hai… Itna hi shauk hai toh usko yahan la aur din raat kamre mein reh, koi farq nahi padta mujhe. Meri naak na katwa... Bohut ho gaya ab yeh. Usko wahan bhejne mein bhi tera hi haath tha. Ab jaa, ghar jamaai ban jaa... chudi pehen le."
("If you’re truly a man, then bring your wife here. Don’t sit around at your in-laws’ like a woman. Ever since your uncle’s passing, I’ve watched you disappear every night… If you want her so much, bring her here, stay in your room day and night, it makes no difference to me. Don’t humiliate me further… You had a hand in sending her there. So now go on, become a ‘ghar jamaai’… wear bangles if you have to.")
Behlaaj’s voice thundered with disdain. Raza’s jaw tightened as he forced himself to hold back any words he might later regret. No matter what his father said, he was still his father, and he could sense his mother’s hand in all of this by the look in her eyes.
His thoughts drifted back to her. In that moment,He didn't do anything with her but everyone thought that he was there with her for his own wants.
And at that moment,he made a decision. "Usko aap log kal hi le aaye, mujhe koi dikkat nahi hai."
(Bring her here tomorrow if you wish; I have no objection.)
His father’s face brightened with pride as he patted Raza’s shoulder. “Yeh hui mardon wali baat. Aurat ko kabze mein rakhna chahiye, nahi toh sar par chadh kar naachne lagti hai.”
(That’s the way a man should talk. A woman must be kept in control, or she’ll start dancing on your head.)
Raza gave his father one last look, standing as he said, “Mai chalta hoon.”
(I’ll be going now.)
With that, he walked out.
She didn’t know when or how she’d fallen asleep, but when she opened her eyes in the morning, she found Rafia in her room, holding jewelry and clothes.
Sitting up, she looked at her sister in confusion. “Rafi, aap yaha par?” she asked, standing and folding the comforter.
(Rafi, you’re here?)
Rafia smiled at her lovingly and explained, “Bahar sab hai. Kal raat mein pata nahi kya hua. Subah hi badi Ammi aur bade Abba ne kaha ki aaj tumhe lene aana hai. Aur mujhe tumhare kamre se kapde lene ke liye kaha,maine wahi kiya... Halima, tumhara aur Raza ke beech kuch hua hai?” Her voice softened with concern, unable to understand why Raza hadn’t come himself and why this sudden decision.
(Everyone’s here. I don’t know what happened last night, but early this morning, Abdi Ammi and Bade Abba said we are going to bring you home. They asked me to collect clothes from your room, so I did. Halima, did something happen between you and Raza?)
“Kuch nahi, Rafi… bass thoda gussa ho gaye the shayad kal,” Halima replied, attempting for the first time to hide something from her sister. Rafia could tell from her tone that she was lying, but chose not to press.
“Chalo, jaao naha lo. Phir mai nashta yahi le aati hun. Tumhe tayyar karna hai isske baad,” Rafia said as she turned to leave the room.
(Come on, go take a bath. I’ll bring breakfast here. We need to get you ready after that.)
Halima stared at the door, stunned. What had just happened? Was this really because of what happened yesterday? Today, she was going back… in a single night, everything had changed.
His words echoed in her mind—that he would meet her in his own room. She would be there, in his house. The only thing easing her nerves was the thought that Rafia would be there with her.
As she stepped into the bathroom, her thoughts swirled. What would he do to her today? He had made it clear that he regretted not acting like other men in the village, which could only mean one thing—that today, he intended to consummate their marriage. Her worst Nightmare was on the verge of becoming reality.
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